news:3 [redemption]

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====== Turn 3 News ======

=====Announcements=====

====Station Blue====
Station Blue is now fully operational. All inmates are to be clear that there is no ongoing reason for concern. Those that remained calm are vindicated and those that spread misinformed rumours are to remember not to spread misinformation in future. 

====Contraband====
We would like to remind you that possession of any contraband will result in severe punishment. If you are unsure of what constitutes contraband, a list of items that are contraband can be obtained from the library. If the issue persists, regular searches will continue to happen. Any attempts to hinder these searches will result in the strictest forms of punishment, and, at the discretion of the guards, lethal force may be used to ensure the safety of the prison at large, as part of these searches.

====Food Supply====
The agricultural efforts of Quartermaster Kayyali have been successful and we are anticipating the first harvest of edible crops to be collected in this coming month. Inmates are therefore reassured that the food supply situation is well under control and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future.

====Fighting and Gambling====

After a regrettable series of incidents, we feel it is necessary to remind prisoners that fighting is against prison regulations, and organised fighting doubly so. In addition, gambling, betting, and similar activities are also strictly prohibited. Any prisoners found engaging in any of the above activities will be swiftly punished, and guards are authorised to use whatever means necessary to prevent such activities, for the general safety of the prison at large.

====Self Defence====
Prisoners are reminded that any violence towards guards will not be tolerated, and that due to widespread collar malfunctions guards are allowed to use any means at their disposal for self defence or the defence of other personnel.

=====Rumours=====
====Jan Beno attacked====
Apparently the family were getting revenge on him for something?

====Jamie Conway Murdered====
We found him dead behind the cellblocks. Looked like he'd been in a hell of a fight.

====Arnir Hasran Dead====
And a bunch of other True Elysians either injured or in solitary half the time; it's been a violent few weeks. 

====Keegan randomly attacking people====

So apparently she tried to jump Zhar Ro and Scuzz Anderson at the same time, and got a faceful of floor. Lol what an idiot

====Contraband searches====
AW SHIT QUICK THEY'RE COMING

====Chaos at Cataloguing! Tharaldson dead?!?!====
Nobody seems sure on this one. 

====Greco likes I Spy====

Apparently if you ask really nicely, Dr Benedict Greco will fly you around in a buzzer and play I Spy from the air. He doesn't like it if you go with S for Sky or G for Ground though.

====Kneecaps intact====
This lack of action from Kayyali is disturbing in its own right. Is this the quiet before the kneecapping storm?

====Riley Cole====
Has anyone seen them recently? Seriously, I need my fucking fix. 

====They're Not Kidding Around====
Guards are getting really fucking twitchy right now.  Couple of prisoners in the kitchens moved a little too quick while carrying a cooking knife, and got a bullet to the head.  Better watch yourself.

====Nexus Angry====
Nexus has let it be known that the Creed will suffer. They've lost several prisoners. 

====Creed Angry====

The Creed have let it be known that members of the Nexus will suffer. Apparently they lost several members as well. No, not lost as in couldn't find, fuck's sake, Chapman, are you thick?

====Prisoners of War missing====

They say they were deliberately 'disappeared'. They say they were killed by a hitsquad led by the Warden. They say they were dragged away to be experimented on. They say they were part of a Warden's Research project. They say they've been tortured. They say they're not coming back. They say the Warden's sent them to Station Green to be tortured while being experimented on!

Whichever rumour you hear, the gist is the same: Zhou Ba Lan, Dri Po Val and Zhar Ro Zhist were taken by an armed group last month and have not been heard of since.


====Rumours from the Guards====
Overheard a couple of the guards chatting, saying they were worried about the prisoners stealing their guns. I even heard one say the think they should start killing us, to preserve resources. Fortunately the Warden seems to want us alive for now, but given the authorisation of lethal force, I'm gonna try stay on their good side...



\\
//A new joke does the rounds: //\\
Who is the worst Prisoner of War?\\
I dunno, it's impossible to Tel them apart.


//An anti-Elysian joke surfaces, in retaliation://

So a man walks into the shop and says, "I'd like a brain transplant, what've you got?"\\
"We have all these fresh Elysian brains, 50k a pop" says the shop keep.\\
The man sucks his teeth. "You got anything a bit cheaper?"\\
"Certainly sir. Tel brains are only 5k."\\
"That's ten times cheaper!"\\
"Well of course sir. It's like with cars. We have to give a steep discount if they've actually been used before."\\

{{tag>news}}
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